I've updated this post to include the other two transcripts from that quest, and the death of my metaplot.
The next quest was run by the player who'd been controlling the wizards Cal and Darmos.
First Transcript
[As a prologue the DM put each of us in a different between-quests location and gave us different riddles; winners got a magic item which would have helped us on the quest. He gave me a variation on the Monkey Island finger puzzle.
A random encounter interrupts our voyage to the quest area, and takes so long in real life that we end up skipping the main quest. It was a fun encounter--the party couldn't tackle our foe head on; I think it only took so long because we strung ourselves out at the beginning instead of attacking all at once.]
Camlost (Bloodrager/Dragon Disciple) receives a riddle. He fails.
Snake (Ninja) receives a riddle and succeeds.
Montag (Fighter) and Holy Joe (Oracle) receive a riddle and succeed.
I am Rhodes (Pirate). While drinking at a tavern, I'm joined by the local performer. He claims to be the best bard in the land. He bets his purse that he knows a song with my name in it. I know he's going to sing "Happy Birthday." After a night of drinking, I receive a Masterwork Javelin (ammunition). It has a launching hook and and ampule at the end.
Due the actions of our guild, some Elementalists acquired a space ship armed with a library of Headbands of Knowledge. It is arguably a total collection of all human knowledge.
The guild has been hired to investigate a missing person. We believe he's with the Elementalists.
The missing person was trained by the same person as Darmos and Cal. The master was crafting intelligent items that can cast a spell an infinite number of times. This missing person likely has one of those kind of items too, bonded to his person.
We travel to the Elementalists town via boat. On our way, we're ambushed by pirates.
A smaller boat, less crewed, makes threatening maneuvers.
With Rhodes' superior sailing skill, he out maneuvers the pirate boat as the other party members leap to action.
Snake makes himself invisible and runs across the water.
Montag hops on a magical horse that was attached to the ship and rides across the gap between ships. He successfully doesn't get shot by a cannon volley.
Camlost becomes some crazy flying demon thing and flies to the other ship. He doesn't dodge a cannon volley, but just shrugs it off.
Camlost gets in a fight with some shipmate that has acid blood. In his rage he attacks in a flurry, covering himself in acid (40d6 damage!)
We're not even to the main story yet and Camlost is almost dead.
Second Transcript
Million dollar question, IS CAMLOST LOST.
ANSWER. Probably. Too much damage. He manages to save enough damage off that he's alive as long as he continues to rage. Which he can do in his sleep.
Montag approaches the helm of the pirate ship. Captain Blackbeard appears to be possessed.
Rhodes sees the pirate ship's sails change. He believes that weight in the hold has shifted, or the cannons, or it's taking on water.
Snake continues to approach.
Pirates start attacking. They don't seem ensorcelled, but they attack out of fear.
Montag attacks while Camlost tries to stabilize (failure this turn).
Rhodes is doing more ship piloting. He's getting closer and trying to stay out of cannon range.
Snake continues his approach.
Camlost tries to stabilize (failure this turn).
Montag convinces Captain Blackbeard to surrender, and attempts to convince the other sailors to do the same while attacking another sailor.
Two floating giant warclubs come out of the ships hold all menacing like. They look angry.
One hits the deck and shatters it. They do not appear to be very skilled.
The other hits the first mate with a deafening crunch. He survives.
The rest of the crew on deck appears to be surrendering.
Snake gets into the ship's hold. He is slightly trapped by a sticky invisible web/net/thing situated around the cannons. He decides to instead climb to the deck.
Camlost tries to stabilize (failure).
Montag attacks one of the clubs. Smackity smack and it looks "injured."
The First Mate attempts to avoid getting hit himself, and fails. He falls into the ocean.
The warclubs attack Montag, and he just avoids them. They strike the deck instead.
Rhodes continues his approach.
Montag does the thing with the club. Injured it some.
The clubs attack Montag and miss. Again. The deck is looking a little shabby. Meta-Rhodes cries a little.
The First Mate remounts.
Snake steps into the hold where the warclubs were. He thinks he hears someone talking in a strange language as he enters. He successfully kills a
Camlost tries to stabilize (success).
Montag attacks more warclubs. Smashy smashy... one drops? But he didn't hit it... He attacks the other one, and smacks it up a little.
Dan: The big bad "is more devious." It has begun.
A warclub attacks Montag. More smashing the deck.
Snake watches the different crewman do their jobs and look at the fallen mage's body. He goes down into the hold and hears things falling and rolling.
Camlost is still unconscious.
The First Mate gets to Camlost and scrounges through his pack.
Montag disables the other warclub.
Rhodes gets closer (1 round away).
More things sound as if they're crashing around on the ship. Rhodes sees the pirate ship listing back and forth.
Snake explores more. Things are flying off racks in the bottom of the ship and then expanding. The ships cargo was minimized, and as they strike the ground return to normal size. As he ghost-steps through doors, he sees weird webs and and weirder things trapped in the webs. He also thinks he saw a floating hand (Mage Hand?).
Montag beats up the club more. Smacky smacky.
The First Mate gives Camlost a potion.
The club rises and waits while the sail comes crashing down around Montag. The warclub smacks Montag while he's entangled.
Rhodes blocks the pirate ship from moving and prepares to board.
The ship appears to be taking on more water and sinking. Holy Joe prepares to board the ship on a water horse.
Snake applies a poison to his blade (Green Blood Oil). He focuses, and notices that there are three sources of the flinged things.
The First Mate applies more ointment.
Montag frees himself from the fallen sail. Which then promptly attempts to retangle him and fails.
Montag and Holy Joe rush to Camlost's aid. The First Mate applies First Aid.
Rhodes boards the ship. Ha ha fuckers, I'm late to the party. Captain Blackbeard lays in a pool of his own blood with severed hand nearby. Him and the two crossbowmen claim that they've been made to do this. They describe taking on significant cargo, followed by men going below deck and not returning. Those that do make it back speak of the black hand of death.
The sail entangles me and the club attacks, but I manage to avoid it.
The Captain claims that this is likely the work of the ships wizards. They went below deck and have yet to return.
A mystical hand flies past Snake. He attempts to follow it, but cannot. He attempts to pass through the halls, but is stopped by masterwork arms and armor that are strewn about. He eventually works his way around, and sees that more junk blocking the way to the deepest hold. He grabs a trebuchet that appears to be minified and throws it. THE ENTIRE SHIP FUCKING SHIFTS.
Montag tries to move Camlost while Holy Joe heals him. The First Mate repacks his first aid and hops back on his horse.
Rhodes tries to punch the warclub and fails from the shifting ship and the tangling sail. He falls to a knee.
The warclub attempts to get a swing in and fails. Rhodes keeps kneeling.
A man appears on the deck, balancing. A shining wall appears between the pirates ship and our own. He is flickering. Before he disappears, he sinks through the deck of the ship.
He orders the cannoneers to do something they wouldn't normally do... He succeeds?
Snake tries to make his way to the other side of the ship. Ghost-stepping through walls again, he comes across two cages. There are people in each cage. They appear to be meditating. Or dead. And dead? Knives litter their cages, and the monks? are covered in tiny cuts. Snake stabs one of them, and they bleed freshly. They're either recently dead...
Montag gives Camlost to Holy Joe. He then approaches the warclub. As he goes to attack, the sail becomes motionless. The warclubs cracks and splinters, but remains.
Camlost startles himself into the air, then flies up towards our ship. He slumps down onto the deck.
Rhodes beats up the warclub, to no effect.
The fadey mage comes out of the deck again and appears to be casting a spell. A wall of iron drops into place. The ship shifts, and the deck looks ready to crumble on the weight of the wall. Rhodes yells for people to get off the boat if the wall starts to fall.
As the wall falls, it takes one of the crossbowmen away. It damages the railing and sinks to the bottom. The ship does not take on much water. The fadey mage's plan fails.
Snake ghost-steps through another floor. 12 crewman stand around, one of which is ifrit (has fire elemental blood). Blood splattered on the floor, but nobody appears injured.
Holy Joe heals Camlost.
Montag trots around on his sea horse. He views the carnage around him. He hears cannons go off. The First Mate is shot at. Montag is also shot at, and returns a shot at fadey mage.
Rhodes charges to the back of the ship, leaps up a ladder, and feints the fadey mage (denied his Dex until my next turn).
The fadey mage goes back through the deck again.
Snake is being "watched" by the other crewmen (he's invisible). He returns to the previous room. A halberd is lodged through supports. In a manner that may almost suggest it was crafted there. Weird shit. A crewman flees, screaming about "not doing it" and "getting out of here." Another travels the other direction, carrying a torch.
Montag aims a shot into the cannon entries, and hits a crewman while they reload. The crewman ignores the shot.
Rhodes gathers Captain Blackbeard and heads back to their ship.
Snake goes after the torch guy. He remembers the barrels of splody gunpowder.
Montag travels back to our ship too.
Camlost is at the top of our ships crows nest, chilling. He seems disgusted with himself?
Rhodes and Blackbeard try to travel to the other ship. Rhodes requests ropes be tossed over the force wall.
More torches and gunpowder approach Snake. A crewman comes up on deck and warns Rhodes and Blackbeard that they're going to blow the ship's cache of gunpowder in an attempt to take both boats.
**We end for the week... TENSION**
Third Transcript
When we last left our heroes, the enemy ship is trying to blow up our ship with a bunch of gunpowder.
Snake analyzes the situation. He pilfers one of the torches from the brainwashed crewmen. With his other hand he slices the other crewman's torch apart.
The crewman picks back up his torch and is very confused.
Camlost is still pouting (fatigue)
Montag and Holy Joe are back on the ship.
The First mate was blown off his horse. He is aided back to the ship by Montag.
Blackbeard is determined to save his own crew. Rhodes ties the captain up and has the other crew drag him away while he takes control of the enemy boat in an attempt to lead it away from theirs. The boat seems to resist his skills...
Snake is surrounded by gunpowder and holding a torch. The crewmen are ignoring him.
"Don't forget you can hold action..."
Snake drops the torch he has, and then pilfers another crewman's torch. The crewman appears to realize he's being stopped.
The crewmen touch each other, then a phantom gauntlet reaches out and touches the crewmen. A dimension door appears and sucks up all the screaming crewmen.
Montag and the First Mate attempt to get below decks after hearing a scream.
Both boats begin to move apart.
Rhodes continues to try and turn Blackbeard's boat. He starts to think the ship has become stuck on something below the boat.
Snake tries to GhostStep through the wall of the ship, but is instead captured by some kind of etherial spider. It's head is a humanoid bushy mess, and appears to be constantly screaming. His ability wears off before it has a chance to attack him. He breaks through the webbing and attacks the spidery thing. It bleeds ichor everywhere.
Montag and Holy Joe manage to not get injured as an explosion rocks the boat. The allied captain loses his balance. Camlost remains where he is. Blackbeard falls off the wall and boat, while his crewman that attempted to flee earlier lands on the deck.
DM: "It's not obvious that the ship is sinking."
Rhodes continues to turn the ship, unknowing what's going on.
Snake slays the ether spider thingy while doing another ghost step.
Montag's player: "Do you have enough time to do that?"
Snake's player: "Well, I'm pretty amazing. *acquires Embrionic Spider Goo*"
Rhodes successfully escapes from the enemy ship. Badass pirate swing.
Camlost attempts to help the boat regain its balance. He joins in the splashing around fun in the quickly filling back of the boat. He blocks the door with his Enlarged Person. Even with his aid, the boat is still taking on water in the bottom of the boat.
Snake is still trying to escape the enemy ship. He works his way towards the stairs to the top of the deck. He finds a cannoneer with an armed cannon. He disables the cannon.
Camlost and others are doing their best to slow the gain of water to some success.
Montag gives the Pearl to Holy Joe, and Holy Joe gives the Pearl to Rhodes.
Snake makes it to the upper decks. He is instructed by someone to take control of the enemy boat.
The allied captain tries to turn the boat so the wind will shift the water that has gotten inside.
Montag rides up to Snake trying to pilot the boat.
Montag: "Hey!"
Snake: "Hey!"
Montag: "What about the cannon guys?"
Snake: "Not so sure. Wanna go check? What way should I be pointing the ship?" *Whips the ship around.*
Camlost is doing more boat sealing stuff to varied success. A black hand appears out of nowhere and taps an allied crewman. The crewman drops "like a sack of wheat." Panic ensues. Camlost gets angry. "If you don't get the ship upright, you'll have more to fear than that hand!" They do as their told, only quicker. He moves to the other side and tries to assist.
Rhodes grabs his pearl and heads under water to assist someone who's become trapped. The crewman says something about a beast. Rhodes bluffs that the creature is gone and tries to lead the crewman out. As they're leaving, the crewman disappears. Rhodes looks for the crewman, and can't find him. Traveling back for him, Rhodes sees SOMETHING in the water.
DM: "Some kind of huge... huge creature that wasn't there before."
Rhodes approaches and sees some kind of giant spider. The Crewman is flailing in the spider's claws. When it turns to face Rhodes, chunks of flesh drop from its mouth. It's a phase spider. It takes more chunks out of Furry and disappears.
Rhodes and Furry attempt to escape.
Holy Joe tries to stabilze Furry naturally. He discerns that the poison is slowly sapping Furry's constitution.
Montag attempts to go downstairs on the enemy ship. He takes out the cannoneer. He explores the boat and finds the another "meditating" individual.
Snake is piloting the enemy boat semi successfully, and that's being polite.
Camlost goes back to the other side of the boat. He can tell that the work they just did has been undone by the mystical hand. He begins looking for it. He dives for something he sees under water. *KERSPLASH* He thinks he knows what he's doing, but he's not so sure. He doesn't manage to grab after the floating mage guy. Instead he decides to taunt the mage. A barrel of oil opens itself and begins draining into the water. The barrel blocks the stairwell up, and Camlost takes the chance to attack the slightly visible mage hand. He succeeds and deals significant damage. After failing to sever the hand, he maneuvers the barrel out of his way. A flash of fire lights the oil, but Camlost manages to escape the burning water. He escapes while looking like a badass, covered in oil and fire.
Snake is still piloting the ship, and fails his driving check. The enemy boat crashes into our boat.
Montag shoves a crewman out of the cannon port.
Camlost is heralded as a flaming warrior. Rhodes thinks he's just fabulous. Camlost begins patrolling and waiting for the hand to appear...
Rhodes attempts to help repair the boat.
Snake is kinda succeeding again.
The allied captain decides to consider abandoning ship. Holy Joe decides to take the opportunity to leave while he can.
Furry: "The spider says something about revenge for killing babies."
Rhodes: "Good for it?"
Montag is still raiding the enemy ship currently.
Camlost is still tempting the mage.
The group decides to escape the ship we sailed in on. We capture the enemy pirate ship again.
Camlost again fails to find the glove, and another crewman dies and screams.
Fourth Transcript
We've discovered that Blackbeard is still alive, and floating between the two ships.
Camlost attempts to rescue Blackbeard from the water and succeeds. After helping him onboard the ship, he hands him a potion to stop the bleeding.
Blackbeard informs Camlost that they need to get off the ship because it's starting to sink.
Camlost goes below deck in an attempt to acquire a row boat, but the boat is sunk in water. He calls for aid. The first mate comes over with a water horse and a rope. Their attempt fails, and the row boat remains under water.
The first mate hands the rope to Holy Joe and says "Heave!"
Holy Joe heaves. The boat budges, but is still stuck and sinking fast.
Rhodes notes that they should get away from the boat before it goes down so they dont' get sucked with it.
Camlost breaks into the quarter of the boat that's been sealed and grabs the gunpowder.
He sticks the gunpowder horns into parts of the deck so that he can blow them apart. He misjudged his timing, so the gunpowder explodes in his face.
Camlost hops over to the other boat, and he and Rhodes help Holy Joe pull the rowboat free.
More crewmembers hop on horses. More cannons go off.
Camlost, Rhodes, and Holy Joe attempt again to pull the boat free. They eventually succeed.
Montag is trying to throw evil crewmen out the windows, but a cannon goes off and deafens him. He fights through this and continues tossing evil crewmen overboard.
Montag talks to people in the back of the enemy ship. They say they are waiting. Montag locks the door behind him. He finds a giant magical [halberd] that he believes is anchoring the ship. Something magical appears to have placed this [halberd] into the beams supporting the ship.
Montag continues his search of the ship, looking for more cannon people.
Montag comes upstairs, believing he's cleared the ship of enemies... Until he realizes he hasn't been in the aftcastle.
Camlost goes downstairs as Montag comes up.
Rhodes sees a giant bubble come up with debris... The ship they sailed in on has sunk.
Holy Joe checks an entranced crewmen in an attempt to know what's going on. He believes the crewman is in some sort of suspended animation.
Camlost attacks the magical halberd. He succeeds in severing the magic of the item. He screams "Suck it Wizards!"
Montag goes around to the aftcastle on one of the water horses. He sees into the supply room. He asks Snake to get inside, and he ninja's his way in.
Rhodes orders the ship to head to Redrock, the remaining enemy crewmen still floating in the water.
Snake triggers some kind of magical lock while trying to let others into the aftecastle supply room. After a quick puzzle, he succeeds and gets into the captain's quarters.
On the captain's desk, there is a pen that is madly scribbling.
Montag goes the long way around, and on to the top of the aftecastle. The hatches appear to be secured from the inside.
Snake watches the pen write. It seems to be writing about "My friend, Ardis, and I barely survived. It has been a long and cruel time. Flee this ship as quickly as you can." Snake sees a bunch of writing all over everything that seems to have no particular order. He tries to take the notes and put them in order. He fails.
[DM]: "Phase Spiders. Colony. Feeding off the ship. Evil Wizards. Dark hand. Destruction."
Montag gets into the aftcastle with Snake. They ask the pen a question. A wizard comes from below deck and offers to answer our questions.
He explains that the ship is a trade vessel that has acquired many valuable objects. However, when the ship left port, they noticed that their speed was not what it should have been. They didn't realize that this was the work of the evil wizard they call the Hand of Death. He's been working with the phase spiders. They were to take the phase spiders from place to place so that they could feed. The spiders were told that the crew were evil pirates and were fair game. The wizard says the Hand of Death tortured him and made him control the sails and rigging that attacked us. The crew on the boat appear to have been merchants of death to some degree. Rhodes thinks that the cannons are more expensive than most of the things I've seen in the hold.
Camlost pilfers the body of the wizard that exploded into acid all over him. He gets a headband, a magical ring, a collection of potions, and a wand of magic missile. Rhodes takes everything but the ring, that Camlost takes.
The wizard from below decks approaches me and tries to convince me to escape the ship on the row boat.
Camlost starts singing "Ancient Elvish nursery rhymes," and replacing components with taunts to the Hand of Death.
Snake follows the wizard, and notices that the wizard is trying to leave. Rhodes has Snake start to cause trouble with their escape plan.
Holy Joe, Montag, and Camlost search the ship with Detect Magic, looking for the magical glove that the Hand of Death has.
Blackbeard screams about the Hand of Death, and the deck wizard freaks out.
Rhodes stops the deck wizard from escaping, while Snake stops Blackbeard.
Camlost jumps off the boat and onto the row boat that Blackbeard has managed to launch. His landing breaks one of the benches that holds the boat wideways. Camlost grapples Blackbeard with almost no effort, and flies him back ontop of the boat in the crows nest.
We interrogate the deck wizard. We get basically no information out of him, other than that we think he thinks he's the only one that can fight the Hand of Death, and not necessarily successfully.
We drag the deck wizard downstairs.
Rhodes: Piloting the boat.
Montag: Shadowing Joe or undoing sails as needed.
Snake: Trying to rest
Camlost: Playing "bodyguard" with the Deck Wizard.
DM: "A dark force tries to take over Rhodes..."
Rhodes turns the boat around as quietly as he can.
Joe notices that Rhodes has been enchanted.
Joe successfully breaks the enchantment on Rhodes, and Rhodes quickly decides to turn the boat back around, but the linkages break during the turn.
Camlost is interrogating the deck wizard after the wizard stares at the ring.
Rhodes rolls awesome and successfully fixes the linkages in 15 minutes.
Joe tries to identify the ring, and only identifies how powerful it is. (3rd lvl)
Snake ghost steps through the deck, and startles the Hand of Death. With a quick draw, he nails the Hand with an arrow. As he phases back, he sees the Hand casting a spell. "Wizard!" he shouts.
Deck Wizard identifies of the ring as a Ring of Blink. Camlost puts it on and begins shifting between Physical and Ethereal planes. He starts charging around the ship looking for guy (the Hand).
As Camlost travels through the Ethereal plane, magic missiles from the darkness hit him. He's angry. He casts haste and goes after the Hand.
And now he's covered in Acid.
Camlost injures the Hand, so he teleports away.
The crew makes it to Redrock successfully.
Ship: Cannons are extremely fine quality, but not made by the popular "artists" Rhodes knows. He gets to keep the cannons.
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