Have a 'Mech, Frankie Valli

I don't generally bother writing up 'Mech stats anymore unless I have a good bit of fluff in mind to go with them. But last January, apparently I had a craving to make a heavy cannon and two heavy lasers go 80kph with as little tech as possible, and I had a song stuck in my head.

I was pretty proud of that "Meacham / each won" rhyme.

The tune is a brassy, energetic variation on Mack The Knife. The CD jacket claims it's performed by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, but it's a cheap CD compilation, and I don't really trust their fact checking.

The full lyrics are unGoogleable, so I've put them [with some guesses] below the cut.

Mack the Knife

When you hear who's here tonight We know you're gonna flip.
He's hot, he's cool, he's swinging full. He's everything that's hip.
Suave charm, sex appeal and the newest rocking sound.
'Cause the band he has plays all that jazz like no other band around.

My name is Mack the Knife and I'm the leader of the band
Because I found my other life was getting out of hand
The guns went bang, my friends would hang, and violence I can't stand
So I gave up all that bloodshed and formed myself a band

Sing!

shooby-doo-doo. Shoo-doop, shoo-doo.
shooby-doo-doo. Shooby-dooby doo-doo.
shooby-doo-doo. Shoo-doo, shoo-doo-WEEE.
shooby-doo, shooby-doo, boop-boop shedooby-doo
Shooby-dooby-dooby-dooby-doo.

Oh they used to call him Mack the Knife, he'd cut you into bits
People that he used to hit now run to buy his hits
Yes, the man that everybody [?fought?], the meanest guy in town
Now plays at all the better spots. (It's [?goodbye?] Lucy Brown.)

Glad to meetcha and really [?with ya?] when playing the saxophone
And the well known jive and jingle jangle who wails on slide trombone
Yes a smiling in ya and [?a little a little a ?] they really rock the place
Mack gave up slapping folks around and took up slapping bass.

[shoobies]    Oh no, watch me go
[shoobies]    Uh-huh, I'm wailin' now
[shoobies]    Yeah! Better than slapping folks
[shoobies]    (Slap this bass)
[shoobies]    Oh! Ooh! Oom!

                   Jimmy Buttle, Vincent Lopez
                   Lawrence Welk and Sammy K
                   They're all worrying about their last band
                   Mack the knife's band is on its way

[shoobies]    Mack the knife has pretty teeth, dear,
[shoobies]    and he shows them pearly white.
[shoobies]    Dazzling choppers, has MacHeath dear,
[shoobies]    and he never keeps them out of sight.

[shoobies]    Lotte Lenya, ol' Jenny Diver
[shoobies]    Harley Peachem, and old Lucy Brown.
[shoobies]    They're [?for?] scaaaring
[shoobies]    Bobby Daaarin.

                   You'd better watch your wife! Because Mack the Knife!
                   And his band is back in toooowwwn!